The day started badly, with a scalded perineum.
For some reason that science has yet to determine, a cup of hot coffee in a sea swell, lacks the grip of its less scalding counterparts, and is more prone to sliding off a table. Perhaps it is to do with heat exciting the molecules and encouraging fluid dynamics at an atomic level, that cause the cup to slide more freely when a lateral force is applied.
Or perhaps it is the Law of Sod.
After all, toast falls jam side down. Colours only run when your best white shirt is in the wash. The hot water runs out only after you have soaped up. But what if we could harness this potential for harmful probability. I've long admired the Cat Curry Monorail theory.
Put simply, a cat will always fall on its feet, suggesting a repulsion between the back of the cat and the floor. A spillage of curry will always fall on the least stain resistant surface available, such as a pale carpet, therefore suggesting a degree of attraction between the curry and the carpet.
Harnessing these opposing forces merely requires balance. Therefore goes the theory, smear curry on the back of a cat and gently release it a few inches above a pale carpet and the attraction of curry to carpet will counteract the repulsion between the cat's back and the floor. The cat will float. It has a host of industrial applications just waiting to be exploited.
But I digress.
The coffee ran off the table and onto the bench between my legs. I thought I had got away with nothing more than a pleasant warming sensation in the trouser department, until the flowing liquid found its lowest point and began to pool. The rest is history.
I mention it for no other reason than as a minor illustration of how quickly life can take a turn, for the better or the worse.
Five minutes before, we had been watching a pod of dolphins frolic of the port side, congratulating each other on the jolly fine time we were having. And now I found myself only a hair's breadth from calamity.
It can turn on a dime, this life thing, so make the most of it while you still can.
For some reason that science has yet to determine, a cup of hot coffee in a sea swell, lacks the grip of its less scalding counterparts, and is more prone to sliding off a table. Perhaps it is to do with heat exciting the molecules and encouraging fluid dynamics at an atomic level, that cause the cup to slide more freely when a lateral force is applied.
Or perhaps it is the Law of Sod.
After all, toast falls jam side down. Colours only run when your best white shirt is in the wash. The hot water runs out only after you have soaped up. But what if we could harness this potential for harmful probability. I've long admired the Cat Curry Monorail theory.
Put simply, a cat will always fall on its feet, suggesting a repulsion between the back of the cat and the floor. A spillage of curry will always fall on the least stain resistant surface available, such as a pale carpet, therefore suggesting a degree of attraction between the curry and the carpet.
Harnessing these opposing forces merely requires balance. Therefore goes the theory, smear curry on the back of a cat and gently release it a few inches above a pale carpet and the attraction of curry to carpet will counteract the repulsion between the cat's back and the floor. The cat will float. It has a host of industrial applications just waiting to be exploited.
But I digress.
The coffee ran off the table and onto the bench between my legs. I thought I had got away with nothing more than a pleasant warming sensation in the trouser department, until the flowing liquid found its lowest point and began to pool. The rest is history.
I mention it for no other reason than as a minor illustration of how quickly life can take a turn, for the better or the worse.
Five minutes before, we had been watching a pod of dolphins frolic of the port side, congratulating each other on the jolly fine time we were having. And now I found myself only a hair's breadth from calamity.
It can turn on a dime, this life thing, so make the most of it while you still can.
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